Let Me Ask My Husband (and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves About Photography Sessions)

Let’s talk about something I hear all the time—almost always from women:

“I just need to talk to my husband…”

Now, sometimes that’s true. Sometimes you really do sit down with your spouse, go over the budget, and talk through the pros and cons of a photography session. If that’s you, I salute your teamwork. You're a real-life family budget committee, and I respect that.

But most of the time? That sentence is code.

It’s code for:
👉 “I want to say no, but I don’t want to feel like the bad guy.”
👉 “I love your work, but I don’t know how to justify the expense.”
👉 “I’m uncomfortable making decisions about money—and this gets me off the hook.”

I see it. I know it.

I spent years as a lawyer, and let me tell you—conflict avoidance is a universal language. I’ve had men hide behind me in a courtroom rather than tell their own lawyer - me! - they changed their mind.

People don’t like conflict. They don’t like saying no. They are worried it makes them look bad. So instead, they say, “I’ll have to talk to my spouse,” when what they really mean is, “I don’t want to keep talking about this because if I say no to you you won't like me even though we are complete strangers to each other."

The Ghost in the Marriage

What usually happens next? Silence. No follow-up. No actual husband consult. Just... poof.

And listen, I get it. Life is busy. Decisions are hard. But let me ask you this:

If you were excited enough to reach out, fill out a form, and tell me about your brand-new puppy or your kids who are finally sitting still long enough for a photo... why would you hand off the final decision like it’s the carpool schedule?

(Side note: I promise your husband is not pacing the floor worrying about whether your family ends up on a Christmas card this year. Most of the time, he’s either already on board, or he’s going to say yes because he just is not as invested as you are).

Let Him In—For Real

Now here’s a wild idea: What if your husband doesn’t just get consulted about the price... what if he gets to have some fun, too?

I’ve had dads who start out grumbling and end up asking if we can do a Marvel-themed photo with the kids. Or suggest a version of the portrait where everyone’s in their team jerseys. I even had one guy light up when he came up with an innovative design for an album cover.

Let him negotiate.

If you want the “nice” wall-worthy family session, maybe he gets a round two where he and the kids pose like they're in a Mission Impossible movie. Or he gets veto power on which photo goes on the holiday card. Let him drive the deal—you might be surprised how creative (and agreeable) he gets, not to mention ideas that top yours.

Let’s Make This Fun for Both of You

It’s Okay to Say No

Look, I’m not going to be mad if you don’t book. I know professional photography is a luxury. But if you’re hesitating because you’re nervous to say no—or using your husband as a human shield—that’s not really helping either of us.

Just be honest.

I don’t judge.

And I’ve been in business long enough to know the difference between “let me talk to my husband” and “I already decided but don’t want to say it.” Actually, let me make it simpler: "I'm in business." Hearing "no" is part and parcel to being in business.

If You Want It—Own It

Here’s my advice, woman-to-woman:
If you’re the one who found me…
If you’re the one who filled out the form…
If you’re the one who reached out, told me about your puppy, your child, or the freshly painted living room wall just begging for something meaningful…

Then you are the one who is steering the decision.

If you truly need to talk to your husband, do it. But don’t make him the scapegoat. And if he’s hesitant? Invite him in. Show him what it could be—more than just a portrait. A chance to be goofy. To feel proud. You are working to create something you’ll both love.

And if you do decide not to book? That’s okay, too. Just say so. A “no thanks” is always better than ghosting. Hey, sign up for my newsletter or follow me on Instagram - at no cost to you.

Say Yes—And Let Him Choose the Theme

TL;DR:

Stop asking your husband like it’s a get-out-of-decision-making-free card.

Start inviting him into the story.

Maybe he wants to help.
Maybe he has a great idea.
Maybe he just wants to wear his favorite hoodie in one picture and call it a win.

Because in the end, this isn’t just about money.

It’s about memories.

And who you want standing beside you when you make them.

Book the Session, Make It a Partnership

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Let Me Ask My Husband (and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves About Photography Sessions)

Let Me Ask My Husband (and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves About Photography Sessions)

The Ghost in the Marriage

Let Him In—For Real

Let him negotiate.

It’s Okay to Say No

If You Want It—Own It

TL;DR:

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